10 Ways to Stop Self Abandonment and Connect to True Self
Self Abandonment is when we neglect or reject our needs, either through self judgement, negative self talk, suppressing true feelings, lacking boundaries, people pleasing or ignoring our underlying desires.
Essentially, self abandonment is where we ignore what is really going on underneath, and choose an option that is easier, familiar, accepted by others or accepted by ego.
Over time, when we choose self abandonment behaviours we can become separate from ourselves, forgetting what, or who, we are underneath . Our abandonment patterns can become so familiar that we can fall into a place of relying on external validation to give us sense of self, purpose or acceptance.
True acceptance is not external. We will never *ever* feel fulfilled by external environments or people. The sooner we learn this, the less pain we will endure.
How can you connect to your true self and stop self abandonment:
Say yes when you mean it, say no when you mean it
Pay attention to your internal experience, write down or share emotions your having
Honour your boundaries, and non negotiables
Notice when you seek feedback or validation, ask how can you offer that to yourself
Create consistent self care rituals, alone time and space for reflection (journalling)
Have compassion when things go wrong, when you’re under stress, or when
Learn to accept all parts of you, the good and the bad. Learn how to love that parts of you that are the hardest
Offer gratitude to the small things that make you happy
Remove ‘ideals’ and enjoy imperfection i.e. the perfect life, job, body, relationship.
Nothing is perfect, take away the power perfection has over your current moment.
Abandoning the true self only limits us from experiencing who we are in this very moment. Always enough, always worthy.
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Olivia Scott is a qualified reiki healer in Auckland, plus a life and business coach, author, podcast host & speaker. Get in touch here.